Titanium Spork...

I will still never fully understand the contents of your pocket- Mr. Policeman... In the place where the rest of us carry our writing utensils, you- carry your ones to eat with...Mouth end exposed no less. Sick. Thoughts of all the BAAAD things your mouth will surely encounter, I'm glad I drank my lunch through a straw, that I unwrapped. 

I listen to you tell me about our patient. Yeeeeeaaah...I can't stop staring at your pocket. Besides, it IS shiney too...ADHD's worst nightmare= interesting AND shiney...*sad trumpet tune*

You finish speaking- my opportune moment has arrived. "So...Uuum- what's the story with THAT *pointing*?"....All I can think of is my elementary school days. LOL. How I hated when the prongs broke off in my pudding cup. Especially for the fact that all I needed was the scoop aspect, not the skewer's. Curse you silly spork, and all the joyous dessert time you ruined *Shaking raised fist at the sky*

Your reply even though much less impressive than I'd hoped for, "It's titanium. Didn't have a place to hang on to it when we got this call...use it all the time.". I hope you wash it before using today. *Shrug* (Well, I guess it COULD be used for defensive tactics...)

Me, "Hmm...soooo what you're saying is you DON'T use it as a shank...like in jail??! (well that seems pretty boring...like I said response- less than stellar) They're all pretty crafty in there you know."

Mr. Po-leece, (now catching on to necessary humor required), "Well, only sometimes...when it takes too long to get out my baton. I can go for the eyes! *smirking*".

From now on, you will be forever known in my world as "Srgt. Spork.". Maybe next time I see you, it will be a toothbrush just after your shift started- welcome to an all time new level of Gingivitis... *shudder*