"Ping Pong"

There are places we hang out...waiting. Our shifts are long, and sometimes it would seem that The Voice in the Sky is on crack. More miles put on our rigs being smacked around like a Ping Pong- Death Match 5000 is upon us...



07:00: Sign in. Grab gear. Rig check. *Northbound* (it's 07:01:31) and there is nothing out. The city is still in bumper to bumper traffic. Too early. Trek out into the back 40 to find our bucket for the day. Rig looks like it spent some time four-wheeling in the hills- it needs a wash. 07:05:14. *Assigned to post- I have a call for you reeeally faaaar away*. I'm still alseep. My partner too...we wash away the "Eeew Sick" written in the grime. *sigh* and it's our Monday...Ping pong commence now. Call to the Land Above to advise- hoping we don't get bounced around for the rest of the day. Call avoided. Sorry you that got it. 07:35:05- We too are now with the rest of the Coffee Zombies staggering our way into the hands of Player 2...player 1 is on break..."Service". 07:41:15- Code Red without warning, 135 blocks away...have to take two bridges to get there. We have moved 8 feet. 07:42:00- Lights on..."Whoop Woop" *Siren is waking up too*. 07:44:05- Made it to the left side of the road...Voice in the Sky, "need you on a different one...". Great- I needed that exit.
07:51:00- We're on-scene... attempting to locate. No one is there. Fantastic. The Voice forgot to cancel us. Clear scene. *Assigned to post Time to get coffee*. Sweet. Player 1 is back- <3. My partner wants coffee. I wanna nap. We drive. Only gas station coffee near by *throwing up in mouth*.
08:00- Arrive at Latte Meca...Wait in line.
08:05:- STILL waiting...I sleep in line standing up. My partner looks like he should be drooling right next to me.
08:09:17- Coffee order placed. Almost there. Just give us a few more minutes...please.
08:10:26- I wish my pager wasn't so durable...throwing it into a wall just isn't an option. Player 2 is back. *Assigned to post I'm not going to let you sit*... ugh. "Copy. En route."
08:12:59- We passed 2 cars...both with a full crew upfront. "Service!" My head hurts from the impact of the Ping Pong paddle and the fact that I had to leave my coffee behind for a Code Red response with two sleeping cars, slumbering as we haul passed. *Shrug* Oh well. Nothing new.
08:21:37- On-scene. No response from the Voice in the Sky...try again. Nothing. Give up. Get out. Meet Fire.Regular pt hangout. "What's up *Mike*, which hospital today?"... Load pt. Close doors. Pt falls asleep on our stretcher. 08:23:00...
08:28:06- Arrive at ER. Pt to wheel chair...to waiting room. Stable. Sleeping. *Call for one coming out*...There are 5 other cars here...*rolling eyes*. Finish chart. Prepare gurney for next. *Please clear for a 9-1-1* OK, rather that one.
08:39:01- "whoop woop, Whoop" Siren= bystander glaring while covering ears. Sorry folks. But, I'M INSIDE THE SIREN! On scene. Grab. Load. Go. Park. Unload. Report...Signatures. Clear. Our life is like washing your hair- Lather...Rinse...Repeat...
<<<OVERVIEW OF NEXT 6 >>>HOURS
14:42:37- Post. Park. Sit. Page- Move. Cross cars. Move ends of city. Stage. Code Red...Cancel en route...Code Red to different call immediately after...Transport. Get hunted out by The Bird of Prey..."*Squawk* You've been here for 35 minutes?!* No beds available other than the one my patient is on...aka "my gurney". Delayed in triage. Get a bed. Tuck and Roll! Clear. Stage. Post. Move. Wave at crew you're passing. Scream on the inside due to pain from stomach eating a hole in your backbone. Lunch. Juuuuuust kidding- No Lunch for you!! Code Red without stage. Cancel on scene. Lunch? HA! Sit in traffic....Still sitting in traffic. *Assigned to Post turn around* HA! Player 2 is back...Ping Pong Score- 15 to -6...Voice in the Sky has the upper hand. *SMACK*...Turn around again. Wave at different crew. Stop for quick sugar fix before giving in to Oral glucose consumption to spike you long enough to get you to an EMS room...hopefully with graham crackers...not holding your breath. Drive. Post. Shut off rig...for 3 minutes...turn rig back on. Move. Wave again...same crew. Cross the city. Park next to crew at same post- WTF?? Stage for call in said post...other car sleeps. WHAT?! Ugh. Player 2- I despise you. Player 1? How many breaks do you get?! Get call. Delay on scene. Pt decides POV- amazing. Cancel. Clear. Post. Nap...for 5 minutes. *Assigned to Post- I knew you were sleeping so MOVE*. My partner is breaking things. I laugh...while crying on the inside...I think My stomach just ate itself. Well, guess weight loss will be easier now ;-) Listen to other crews vent about Ping Pong. At least this game isn't the worst yet. Stage between 3...which is gonna come on first? The furthest away of course. I drive past Emerald City Smoothie...My soul just died. Peach pleasure- you could have been my best friend.
<<<OVERVIEW OF LAST 2 HOURS>>>
17:31:42- Been sitting in triage...no beds again. Total number of pages for one coming out? 746...number of times called to delay- 8...guess they never got the message. Find a room. Pt's transferred. One coming out. To least favorite place- I would never put my family there. *moment for disgust in people today and the lack of respect for care of their elders* Make pt comfortable. Take them to SNF. Such a sweet lady. Maybe I will visit her for Backgammon :-) Nicest patient all day. Rewrite "Top 5 Favorite Patients" list in head while cleaning off C-Diff. Sick. Clear. Next call...10.2 miles away- holding for 8 minutes...nice. Closest car?! You keep telling yourself that. Hope they aren't "Sick". Welcome back to the Sea of Cars we get to sail through. Wish I was driving...I love this time of day for Code Responses. This will be call 9...not to include our 4 cancels. This should be our last...right?! If we time it just right.
Race through the city. Exception of course. Pages flood in. Get on-scene. Get patient. Stable. Family to follow in their POV...pt has hand injury- with both working legs. :-/ Huh... Transport. Lather...Rinse...Repeat... It's 18:42:07...Do we dare?!


Voice in the Sky- aka "The paddle": 2071
Us- aka "Ping Pong Ball": Z-E-R-O...