Chronicles Of Ahab & Jonah- A WHALE of a Tale: Volume 2- "Imaginary Patient??"

So there I was, dismissing, our equivalent of, a county hospital after transporting, yet another patient with chronic inebria.  Dismissing 8 minutes and my hip begins vibrating.  Sadly it was not just another urge to break out in dance; it was my pager alerting me of a “Priority Fire Bariatric Request.”  Of course, due to the urgent nature of the call, we were ready to roll within 2 minutes.

My Favorite Puker

In life outside the ambulance, if you're a parent- you get puked on by your kids...to be expected. Sometimes- your spouse. Maybe. There's those "rare" (though sometimes frequent) occassions when a friend who may not have quite learned how to hold their alcohol yet (still) let it show by throwing up on your favorite pair of shoes. Unless your kid has a chronic illness or weak stomach, and your choice of friends can't hang with the grown ups...your tally of "puke to you" ratio leans more towards the "Rare" side of life. In EMS...regardless of your professional title- WE, are magnets! We get puked on...A LOT. Of all the bodily fluids...well substances- THIS one finds its way to...ON us, effortlessly.

Chronicles of Ahab & Jonah- A WHALE of a Tale: Volume 1- "The Treacherous Voyage"

"It is difficult for outsiders (and even many insiders) to comprehend the broken links in our chain of the EMS system.  Numbers are constantly thrown at us driven from research and reports.  They tell us things like cardiac save-rate data, “best in the world”,  "best response", “tiered system,” "successful outcome", "door to balloon time", etc.  These distracting numbers and fancy words are supposed to keep us from seeing what goes on behind the scenes. What actually happens to the patients who aren’t “actively dying” or on the verge of requiring cardio-pulmonary resuscitation or intubation?  Where are the stories that news media doesn’t find interesting enough to report?  These are the patients and calls that need be told."

Just a Side Note...

Humor is used frequently when we are faced with sadness. There is a lot in my line of work...of both actually. Good with the bad. Paramedics, EMT's, RN's, Police...we are frequently judged as insensitive. Skilled and unique- we handle things differently. The amount of death and remorse we are exposed to much surpasses the everyday "9-5"er. We- are this way to survive.

Titanium Spork...

I will still never fully understand the contents of your pocket- Mr. Policeman... In the place where the rest of us carry our writing utensils, you- carry your ones to eat with...Mouth end exposed no less. Sick. Thoughts of all the BAAAD things your mouth will surely encounter, I'm glad I drank my lunch through a straw, that I unwrapped. 

"Ping Pong"

There are places we hang out...waiting. Our shifts are long, and sometimes it would seem that The Voice in the Sky is on crack. More miles put on our rigs being smacked around like a Ping Pong- Death Match 5000 is upon us...

Nutrition Facts

This was my 5th shift out in the field. I was on nights. My partner who we will call Cali, had at least 5 years experience over me from another state. We have patients that we see all the time. To and from Doctor's appointments. Discharges after admits. And then, some who just love 9-1-1 that much that they can never seem to find anyone else to call.

New Years get away chase

A few years ago, my partner and I sit, waiting for our next. He is not my normal...extra shift with a "rent a partner". Nice guy. I'll call him Kirk.

Even though your mouth may run faster than a speeding bullet...doesn't mean your legs can!

Coming Soon!

Driver's Ed refresher...

In school, everyone goes through driver's ed...and is taught the same manner in which to yield for emergency vehicles. However, it is apparent that most (if not all and on the rare ocassion) forget the one "to do" when they are the sole block in the road.

A day like no other...

I had an idea...of the way the system worked. I signed on...