Worst...Game Show...Eh-ver!

Shifts are like Game shows...like "Let's make a deal!" Whether it be a Frequent Flyer bartering with you to go to a different ER; another crew needing gear off your rig; The Bird of Prey trying to push another call on us, or The Voice in the Sky wanting you to take your next before your current is even off of your stretcher...The Price is definitely WRONG!! As much as I would like Showcase #1 to have a "brand...New...CAR!!!"...I am still waiting :-/

Aaaah, the Voice in the Sky...it's amazing how the specific sound of your voice can make OR break our day. In the matter of a few minutes our happy thoughts of running calls can be ruined. Like the feeling of watching your balloon slip out of your hands and float towards it's untimely demise known as tree branches, when you were 5. OR- we hear a small glimmer of hope in the "I've got nothing for you". However, this voice (as nice as it may be) tends to raise the hairs on the back of my neck like nail's on a chalkboard. Only because I know that the "Game show" that is my life for the next 12-24 hours has begun...

This voice, they are the "Bob Barker" of the radio show I listen to 3-4 days a week. Only differences?? Well, the pitch is a little higher, and our "Bob" has access to a paging system. You can even read the "Come on dooooooown!" sound in their voice in text form.

Don't get me wrong, I really do like our "Bob Barker" outside of the speaker in my Sick Bus. But as soon as they become trapped in my ears it's, as Dane Cook says: "The sound that makes me want to punch infants!"...and I love children :-/ 

Funny though, how every time "Bob" speaks- We listen. Sitting, waiting, hoping that that dream vacation is within reach. Butterflies in our bellies. Anticipation; hope...DREAMS growing...only to be crushed like being the butt of a sad joke. Like listening to a ball game- "Alllllll-RIIIIGHT! Weeeeee've GOT one for ya! Ready for your next?!". My heart plummets " *sigh* Go ahead".

"Bob Barker"- "oooooooOOOH-KAY! Congratulations! Behind Door number 1 you get a 58 year old male- Altered. GI- bleed with C-Diff and active bowel activity. He'll be coming from home. He lives on a street with no lights...at the end of the road. It will be the house with the bars on the windows. The door will be unlocked- he says there are no dogs but, he's not sure. He is unable to get to the door. He is soaked in all sorts of unnecessary, so use your BSI. Oh! And he states that he can't walk; has 35 stairs...AND weighs 465lbs!!...No assist available. Time now- Don't you wish it was the end of your shift already?!"

Dead silence over the air...

*Iced Grande and I shattering the windows of our Sick Bus with our screams*

 In my head my response is- "Uuuum... *looking back at the crowd for whether I should pass or bid* I think I'm gonna have to pass this one on to the next contestant! I'll take Showcase # 2, please"...

The sad thing is: there is never a trip to Tahiti...a diamond necklace...$50,000...or a "brand...New...CAR!!!"
Just...

"Ooooh...well, in THAT case!! Door number 1 was your better choice." *Sad trumpet music* Hoooonk, HOOOOOOOOOOONK!

Better luck next time!

C-Diff: Clostridium difficile: a species of Gram-positive bacteria of the genus Clostridium that causes severe diarrhea and other intestinal disease when competing bacteria in the gut flora have been wiped out by antibiotics.

GI: The human gastrointestinal tract refers to the stomach and intestine, and sometimes to all the structures from the mouth to the anus.