To Infinity...AND "BEYOND"!!: Volume 1...

Self explanatory, right?!?!  We get all sorts of stories- ones that you can spot as false from a mile away, and others- sad that they are TRUE! I have 3 to share...to keep it short for sake of your time. THIS- is Volume 1...Sad but True 

Chronicles of "Edam Gouda"- The Tumbleweed Explorer. Volume 1- "Human Marionette"

We've all seen them. On TV. At the Theatre...Cartoon or Real Life- whether you want to admit it or not. We all loved Pinocchio and his strings until he "became a REAL boy". Secretly, everyone wants to be Gipetto, Right? Well, on this shift, much like the rest but not so much...they had an opprotunity, and it was seized... like the chance to have knees without hinges.

The Adventures of the Gravity Monster

People fall. Some makes excuses for why and how they fall...even blame others. We call this "The Gravity Monster"...he is ruthless and unforgiving. He strikes at all times and to anyone and everyone he chooses. So- Beware...you're time will come. It always does...even happens to the best of us :-/

"Safe Word" kind of day...

WE- have a "Safe Word" in our Ambulance. Ours however, was not created like a normal Safe word. In our ambulance, this Safe Word holds a specific purpose and ONLY that one purpose- To protect my partner- "Iced Grande" from, well...ME. :-/

"Fritos"

If you like Fritos...and would like to KEEP liking them- you should probably not read any further. Unless of course, now your curiosity is sparked... If so, just keep in mind you will never look at another bag the same. In fact, it may behoove you to just go buy some; eat them and savor the last "Happy thought" attached to them as you swallow.

"The Bird of Prey"- The Stage 5 Clinger

There are days at work, for everyone I am sure...that we feel like we are constantly being watched. This is something that happens ALL the time on shift for us. But there is just one watchful eye that finds us.."The Bird of Prey"...he hunts us....EVERYWHERE. You can't get away..if you are in his sights...you may as well paint the side of your ambulance with "You found me!!". There is no hiding...

Taser Tag

Night shift...my favorite. So many fun things to get into. I am working with the Lone Ranger...he's solo. Extra shift for me. We always have a good time. THIS night though, Wow...We both probably should have called it quits and gone home for a do-over.

Chronicles Of Ahab & Jonah- A WHALE of a Tale: Volume 2- "Imaginary Patient??"

So there I was, dismissing, our equivalent of, a county hospital after transporting, yet another patient with chronic inebria.  Dismissing 8 minutes and my hip begins vibrating.  Sadly it was not just another urge to break out in dance; it was my pager alerting me of a “Priority Fire Bariatric Request.”  Of course, due to the urgent nature of the call, we were ready to roll within 2 minutes.

My Favorite Puker

In life outside the ambulance, if you're a parent- you get puked on by your kids...to be expected. Sometimes- your spouse. Maybe. There's those "rare" (though sometimes frequent) occassions when a friend who may not have quite learned how to hold their alcohol yet (still) let it show by throwing up on your favorite pair of shoes. Unless your kid has a chronic illness or weak stomach, and your choice of friends can't hang with the grown ups...your tally of "puke to you" ratio leans more towards the "Rare" side of life. In EMS...regardless of your professional title- WE, are magnets! We get puked on...A LOT. Of all the bodily fluids...well substances- THIS one finds its way to...ON us, effortlessly.

Chronicles of Ahab & Jonah- A WHALE of a Tale: Volume 1- "The Treacherous Voyage"

"It is difficult for outsiders (and even many insiders) to comprehend the broken links in our chain of the EMS system.  Numbers are constantly thrown at us driven from research and reports.  They tell us things like cardiac save-rate data, “best in the world”,  "best response", “tiered system,” "successful outcome", "door to balloon time", etc.  These distracting numbers and fancy words are supposed to keep us from seeing what goes on behind the scenes. What actually happens to the patients who aren’t “actively dying” or on the verge of requiring cardio-pulmonary resuscitation or intubation?  Where are the stories that news media doesn’t find interesting enough to report?  These are the patients and calls that need be told."

Just a Side Note...

Humor is used frequently when we are faced with sadness. There is a lot in my line of work...of both actually. Good with the bad. Paramedics, EMT's, RN's, Police...we are frequently judged as insensitive. Skilled and unique- we handle things differently. The amount of death and remorse we are exposed to much surpasses the everyday "9-5"er. We- are this way to survive.

Titanium Spork...

I will still never fully understand the contents of your pocket- Mr. Policeman... In the place where the rest of us carry our writing utensils, you- carry your ones to eat with...Mouth end exposed no less. Sick. Thoughts of all the BAAAD things your mouth will surely encounter, I'm glad I drank my lunch through a straw, that I unwrapped.